Russell’s Monthly Newsletter
October 2022
‘Now I have returned from the sabbatical comes the challenge ……………………..
Dear Friends,
After a couple of years of planning, the sabbatical went by in a flash! How can I possibly already be writing an article for October Reflections? Indeed, the year seems to be going by in a flash! Yet the sabbatical did give Nicola and I invaluable time to reflect on how best to ‘be in the moment’ and ‘be with’. A number of words helped us in this process.
Presence – being in the same physical space as the person with whom you are engaging.
Attention
Presence is not enough though. You can be in the same space as someone but not engage with them positively. Attention transforms presence from ‘showing up’ to ‘focused interaction’. It requires concentration, memory, emotion, alertness and a full engagement with the other person that is not distracted by other concerns or influences.
Mystery
This rests on distinguishing between viewing a situation or a person as a problem, which needs to be solved using skills acquired elsewhere, and a mystery, which is unique, can’t be fixed or broken down into its constituent parts, is not fully apparent to an outsider, but can only be entered, explored, and appreciated.
Delight
This is the recognition of abundance where conventional engagement is inclined only to see deficit. Delight rejects the template of how things should be and opens itself to surprise and humour and subversion and playfulness. Delight is glad to take time where conventional engagement is overshadowed by urgency.
Participation
Participation diverts attention from what is done to ensuring the right balance of who does it. Of the hundred reasons to bypass ‘being with’, efficiency is near the top of the list. Participation says there’s no justification for leaving someone behind, and it queries whether our hurry to get somewhere is rooted in our reluctance truly to engage with the person with whom we are travelling.
Partnership
To supplement participation, partnership considers how respective gifts can, when appropriately harnessed, together enable a team to reach a common goal. Partnership sees how the gifts of the “needy” person, habitually obscured by the working-for impulse to be helpful on one’s own terms, can make unique contributions to common projects. In this sense it comes within the territory of working with, and it indicates how closely working with and being with sometimes resemble one another.
Enjoyment
The dimension that encapsulates and epitomizes all the previous ones is enjoyment. This rests on Augustine’s distinction between what we use, which runs out and is a means to some further end, and what we enjoy, which is of value for its own sake and is an end in itself. Being with, simply put, is enjoying people whom the world, having no use for, is inclined to discard.
Glory
Finally, glory names the purpose of all things: the opening words of John’s Gospel (“the Word became flesh … and we have seen his glory”; 1:14) demonstrate that the epitome of glory, and the originating purpose and final goal of all things, is God being with us in Christ.
Now I have returned from the sabbatical comes the challenge. Can I put this in to practice when so many demands suggest it is simply easier and quicker not to ‘be with’ but to work through a long list of ‘jobs to be done’ myself. Time will tell!
With my love and prayers.
With love and prayers
Russell
Posted – 1 October 2022
